Animus

I want to inflict
a pain that
is life
long.

if not for sanity,
the malice I harbor
would allow my death
simply
to spite
the woman
who holds my love

for the way she
leaves me emotionally impotent,
I would make it
so she would never
forget.

my passing would be heroic…
like saving her life,
pushing her
from out of in front of a bus.

or suicide,
to always make her wonder.